So, it's about time that I move on from this. I'll never post in this livejournal again, and I'm serious this time. I will not be leaving livejournal, but I won't be advertising this livejournal there and I won't provide a link to there.

See, not everything here is the truth. In fact, a large portion of this journal is a lie. And as such, I want a fresh start, a start that has none of this crap attached to it.

And no, I won't say what is true and what is not. It will be up to you, whoever you are, dear reader, to make up your mind on that. And if you decide that everything here is a lie? I don't care. It's not my life, not anymore. It's just another random person ranting on livejournal, after all.

So I signed on to Yahoo messenger under my old username today, mostly because I wanted to check and see if I had any offline messages - because I do, sometimes. And guess what? I did!

My ex, who is firmly an ex-everything (including sister and friend), sent me some messages on Halloween night. And what she said actually made me laugh. Why? Because I'm an evil person sometimes.

So, I just realized it's been months since I last updated. What, since...June? Jeez, I'm such a slacker. But anyways. I guess it doesn't matter, considering I do this for me and not for anyone else.

Yesterday was possibly the best day ever, and there is only one way it could possibly have been better despite the heat. Me, my mom, and Ellen went to the Shrewsbury Renaissance Faire here in Oregon, spent a bunch of money, and had an alltogether awesome day.

Since I've been getting behind on these things, I thought that it might be good to take some time on a break between editing cake pictures to do this. ...alright, so I wasn't as behind as I thought I was. But...-shrug- Whatever.

( Since when did I care about people? )

is something. I'm not sure what yet, but I've had a severe urge to write stuff to put here. I just don't want to put the time into it yet. It'll be here...eventually.

I got me a graphics tablet!!! I don't think that anyone really understands just how awesome that fact is. I mean, l didn't type a word of what you're reading right now. I wrote it all by hand! That's just one reason why it's totally worth the money. Worth every single penny... and trust me, it costs quite a few of 'em. But see, it'll make art and writing so much more fun!

So I was looking over my last livejournal (garjzla-jierda.livejournal.com), and I found a bunch of quizzes that I took in 2006. Since I was bored and a bit curious, I decided to sit down and re-do them, to see if anything changed. So, yeah. That's what's behind this cut. Kind of interesting to realize that some things here are just ridiculous...

There may be another one of these in the semi-near future, just because there's more of 'em for me to do but I just don't feel like doing them right now.

( If you can do something with your life, do it. )

Warning: what's behind this cut is probably something that you don't want to read. Any of you.

( After all, you never knew me. And you never will. )

While this isn't everything that I could have (or, perhaps, should have) said, I think that what I just put here is fairly important, overall. And it made me feel slightly better, now that it's typed out for everyone to read. It makes me slightly nervous to be putting myself out like this, but...well, I don't care anymore. Now, read or don't read.

I'm only doing this for my own needs. I don't care anymore if you know how I feel. But I'm still not going to talk to you on the phone, in person, or through IM. Ever. This journal won't just be for stories, because that's too limiting. What's going to happen to it, then? It's going to be the same as always. I'm going to keep doing what I want, and people can read - if they want to. But I'm still not going to talk to you, my love. I don't care how much it hurts you or makes you angry. Do you realize how hard it is on me to do this to you? Of course not. You care more about yourself than me.

Anyways. I'm getting far away from what I wanted to put here. So I'll switch gears now. For those of you who only want my stories or art, I'll have tags for them.

Why do people always misjudge the quiet ones? I mean, it's not like I really care; I like to lead stupid people into wrong judgements of me. But the people who matter always ask questions like "Why are you so quiet?" or "What's wrong with you? Speak up!" It's stupid, isn't it? Why can't they just be content in the knowledge that I'm naturally quiet? It's not that I'm overly shy. I am shy, I'll admit. I've been shy for a long time. But why can't they understand that I don't talk because I don't want to, not because I'm scared to or I'm too shy to?

I'm only bringing this up because I'm in a Freshman Seminar this term, and part of the class grade is participation during discussion. It's not my fault that I don't volunteer information first, is it? -sigh- It's also not my fault that people jump up before me, that other people are quicker than me to answer a question.

Why are so many people insistent on making a person talk? I don't like to talk. Why not? Because I just don't. Because I don't want my words to be taken the wrong way. Because I'm a quiet person, and I like the quiet. Sure, it gets lonely sometimes - and I do crave the touchy-feely lifestyle sometimes - but that doesn't mean that I want that kind of stuff all the time. Sure, I'd like someone to curl up with most of the time - especially right now, when my life's so explosive and frustrating - but that doesn't mean that I want to talk much.

I know it's part of the class - an important part of it. But it was frustrating on Tuesday to go up to the teachers to ask them stuff and have them insist on knowing why I didn't speak up. "The US is a talkative place," one of them told me. So what? I may be from the US, but that doesn't mean that I'm a talkative person. Sure, it's just one stupid class - I could pretend for them, couldn't I? But I hate it. I hate lying to people.

Why couldn't they just accept my explanation that the day wasn't a good one and leave it at that?

( I'm so fucking tired of this. )
From now on, this journal will be used to post some of my tamer stories and artwork. No longer will I post my fucking feelings for you to read. You, my love, won't hear my thoughts directly from me ever again, nor will you be able to message me and have me answer. I can promise you this much, if nothing more.